I told you last time that active listening had some drawbacks. That is because the human body has one serious flaw.
Your ears and your mouth do not work at the same time.
And by your mouth, I also mean your internal mouth, the thoughts running through your head.
Active listening teaches you to consciously examine what someone is saying. Which involves your mind working. The moment you do that the signal from your ears becomes intermittent and you lose information.
The higher level approach is what I call “Listening with an Empty mind”.
This is where you learn to empty your conscious awareness of all current thought. By doing this you open a “broadband” channel to your subconscious. What the other person is saying goes straight in without any filtering.
When new to coaching there is a tendency to be very focussed in your mind on what your next great question should be. This inhibits your listening. everything you have every learned, heard or experienced is still in your brain.
With Empty Minded listening, you focus on being totally present with them, and trust your subconscious to supply the right next question.
Think back to times when you have been with someone and suddenly you hear them say “Are you listening to me?”
Or the times at school when the teacher scored a direct hit with a piece of chalk, when you were convinced you had that intent, slightly puzzled expression on your face that you used to convince them you were actually paying attention to the class (even though you were really thinking about something much more enjoyable).
How did they know you were not listening; Consider this, if people can tell, beyond the expression you deliberately put on your face, that you are NOT listening; they must also be able to tell when you really are listening.
When you master listening with an empty mind, you make someone feel they are the centre of the universe, the main focus of attention; and we all enjoy that.
In an employee, it will make them feel valued.
Try it. You will give people a communication experience they have rarely, if ever, had before.
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