The core skills of non-directive coaching for leaders are:
Questioning the subconscious to trigger thinking
and Listening with an Empty Mind
Suspending Judgment first.
Our behaviors are driven by our beliefs. So we tend to behave towards people in line with the beliefs we hold about them. We gain those beliefs from our interpretations about information we receive, whether from others, such as an outgoing managers or HR giving a “helpful” briefing about the team you are going to inherit; or from our interpretations of things we observe.
Imagine this: You walk into the office and along the corridor. Coming the other way is a manager, senior to you and very influential in the company. You have talked to him a few times in meetings and at company social events, and believe he hold a good opinion of you.
As he approaches, you look towards him and start to utter a friendly greeting, but he just walks straight past you as if you were invisible.
How do you feel?
What just happened?
When we run this exercise with clients, they will say things like:
He didn’t see me
He ignored me
He is busy
He is preoccupied
He doesn’t like me after all
These are ALL interpretations, and they generate feelings and emotions, which you then react to.
And the only actual observable facts are:
He walked past you.
He did not look at you.
He did not speak to you.
Nothing to worry about there, until you understand WHY these things happened. Yet our first reaction is to react to our INTERPRETATION of the facts.
To be an effective coach you must train yourself to clearly differentiate between facts and interpretations, then get people to explore possible other interpretations.
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Manager to staff interaction is easy and flexible.
Distance and time zones no longer get in the way of you being an effective manager.
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